Monday, January 11, 2016

Its okay to be unhappy......

It was holiday for most of the city except for my thoughts.People who have traveled with me  not only in the car but also in my life (The toughest !)  will know my thoughts have no holiday .It was Chennai ECR and the moment i crossed  Kovalam junction i can only hear the sea breeze . I removed my goggles opened my car side windows and switched on to a pleasant music.I don't know after few minutes I cant stop tears rolling out of my eyes.The feeling I was going through was exactly like this .The same thoughts which would be running in a poor kid who cant afford to buy crackers but waits for Diwali to receive the free 2 pieces of crackers from the rich neighbor so that he can celebrate.The feeling was exactly the same .The poor kid cant ask for more but wait for next Diwali for the neighbor to once again share crackers .Few situations in life are exactly the same.The next day I came to work with loaded mind and wanted to share few things or my situation or my thought process to one of my dearest friend .I actually expected acknowledgment of my emotions but to my surprise it was shocker to hear that " You don't know how to live happily and you wont change".It actually made me ponder more and more and started to analyse why not there be a truth in what the friend said.The friend in fact moved one step forward and said " All around you are happy ; Except you " . Actually what the friend said was absolutely true .All were happy .Then it made me think more and more and finally I started to understand why they were able to be and why I cant be.According to me every human goes through different life stages. Stage 1 where people get happiness by somehow getting whatever they want .In this stage they don't care the repercussion of their own desires on others in the process of reaching to their own desires .The next stage is when they start thinking what all will be the impact in getting what they want ,who all will be affected ,is my desire really worth at the cost of pain of those people .The third stage is when one starts thinking for others even if the desire is the breath struggle. Human mind at this stage starts thinking should we trouble others even for our survival. I would prefer to map these stages against the maturity stages of an individual .Now I started looking at people around me who were happy and mapped them in these three stages . I realized more than 80% of the people are in stage 1 and rest in stage 2. I realized somewhere I am in the stage 3 or at-least in the entry of stage 3. Stage 3 entry or sustenance is not an easy task .It demands sacrifice,commitment and surrender for the deserving souls of the world.When you are in this stage you will feel like the " Diwali Poor Kid" and its quite natural one has to go through the pain of compromising and sacrificing .At this stage one cant be happy but  he or she can be peaceful.People in stage 1 and stage 2 really don't even bother to think others in attaining or fulfilling their desires for that moment and hence they are likely to be more happy.May be in the corporate terms they are called "SMART " kids . But the people in stage 3 are authentic and they are most of the times unhappy. If we analyse ,their unhappiness will make rest others happy somewhere .Whereas the happiness of people in stage 1 and stage 2 will make rest of the world unhappy somewhere .I realized then its okay to be slightly unhappy at times as it makes rest of the deserving people happy .

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