Monday, January 18, 2016

Chennai Floods- MyThought gates opened

It’s the long pending scribbling which I have drafted and reserved in my mind for the last one month after the Chennai deluge in December 2015.May be after the Chennai incident I have to be more cautious if I reserve it for more time in my mind it may overflow and hence thought of opening it today. I was one of the middle class Chennaite who couldn’t reach home for 4 days but lucky to stay in a serviced apartment .But those 4 days I had my colleague who lost all his household items with 15 feet of water around his house. My family members were not reachable and no electricity /power at times .Managed with 1 dress we were wearing ,but thankfully  we had mobilized money to buy few new ones for the next 3 days stint. When I started back home on the first day I never knew I have to stay back in the city for the next 3 days without contact with my family .I know I took the risk of starting late in the evening but I couldn’t relate that it shall be a 3 day stay with no connectivity .Those 3 days were the days for me learn and realize few things. I had a comfortable bigger MUV which couldn’t take me to my destination. I had a superb mobile phone which couldn’t connect me to my kid and hear his voice. I had plastic money to swipe ,but the floods wiped the city and no one was there to see the value of plastic money when they have lost the elasticity of smiles. That’s when I started thinking about the Gen X, Gen Y, Gen Z and their behavioral pattern based on experience and exposure they get. I was trying to correlate this flood and the impact on our behavioral pattern/characteristics in the minds of the generation I am experiencing/being part of.I am sure the crowd I am part of is the one who got into a decent package after the IT boom/MBA, owning a flat/apartment /car within 30-35 years of age and would have experienced the accessibility to all comforts through money with minimal or less discomfort or experience of this sort. I am sure this flood would have given us a lesson when our car or flat couldn’t get us milk or basic food for 3-4 days. We may have to travel by boat or stay in schools among the common men for those 3-4 days. These 3-4 days might have made us ashamed, when we think of days during which we might have overtaken a two wheeler/car to satisfy our ego, wasted our restaurant food, or had the pride of being part of the salaried community. I came out rather I was one of the earliest to drive my car in the risky roads after the rains, to experience the behavioral changes post this rain I found vehicles moving at normal speeds ,no rash driving ,calmness and politeness in the people’s face for a week. I could see it visible and experience it with each and every person I came across for 1 week post the incident. I started thinking such destruction leave an everlasting psychological impact on generations of that era which molds their characteristics for betterment of human race. I can’t be in humane to write such floods are good ,but I am happy and I would be glad if we could learn what’s the real value of life which money or physical assets cannot buy . We have to tell us every day when we wake up ,what we have today might not be there tomorrow or of no use ,except the love and care which we share to the mankind around us today .Lets Live to Love and Love to Live

Monday, January 11, 2016

Its okay to be unhappy......

It was holiday for most of the city except for my thoughts.People who have traveled with me  not only in the car but also in my life (The toughest !)  will know my thoughts have no holiday .It was Chennai ECR and the moment i crossed  Kovalam junction i can only hear the sea breeze . I removed my goggles opened my car side windows and switched on to a pleasant music.I don't know after few minutes I cant stop tears rolling out of my eyes.The feeling I was going through was exactly like this .The same thoughts which would be running in a poor kid who cant afford to buy crackers but waits for Diwali to receive the free 2 pieces of crackers from the rich neighbor so that he can celebrate.The feeling was exactly the same .The poor kid cant ask for more but wait for next Diwali for the neighbor to once again share crackers .Few situations in life are exactly the same.The next day I came to work with loaded mind and wanted to share few things or my situation or my thought process to one of my dearest friend .I actually expected acknowledgment of my emotions but to my surprise it was shocker to hear that " You don't know how to live happily and you wont change".It actually made me ponder more and more and started to analyse why not there be a truth in what the friend said.The friend in fact moved one step forward and said " All around you are happy ; Except you " . Actually what the friend said was absolutely true .All were happy .Then it made me think more and more and finally I started to understand why they were able to be and why I cant be.According to me every human goes through different life stages. Stage 1 where people get happiness by somehow getting whatever they want .In this stage they don't care the repercussion of their own desires on others in the process of reaching to their own desires .The next stage is when they start thinking what all will be the impact in getting what they want ,who all will be affected ,is my desire really worth at the cost of pain of those people .The third stage is when one starts thinking for others even if the desire is the breath struggle. Human mind at this stage starts thinking should we trouble others even for our survival. I would prefer to map these stages against the maturity stages of an individual .Now I started looking at people around me who were happy and mapped them in these three stages . I realized more than 80% of the people are in stage 1 and rest in stage 2. I realized somewhere I am in the stage 3 or at-least in the entry of stage 3. Stage 3 entry or sustenance is not an easy task .It demands sacrifice,commitment and surrender for the deserving souls of the world.When you are in this stage you will feel like the " Diwali Poor Kid" and its quite natural one has to go through the pain of compromising and sacrificing .At this stage one cant be happy but  he or she can be peaceful.People in stage 1 and stage 2 really don't even bother to think others in attaining or fulfilling their desires for that moment and hence they are likely to be more happy.May be in the corporate terms they are called "SMART " kids . But the people in stage 3 are authentic and they are most of the times unhappy. If we analyse ,their unhappiness will make rest others happy somewhere .Whereas the happiness of people in stage 1 and stage 2 will make rest of the world unhappy somewhere .I realized then its okay to be slightly unhappy at times as it makes rest of the deserving people happy .

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Is it okay to go by what our heart says?

In life most of the times we get into a dilemma between sort of fear driven emotional stability and desire to be emotional .When we think deep we will understand the reason for fear,where it has come from and why.Every individual have lot of self inflicting values which they are tuned to believe as right or wrong forced by social fear ,cultural systems , past experiences etc.In some situation in life we always wanted to do few things ,we may like to spend some time alone at  beaches at mid night,explore talking to a new person ,creating a new option for friendship ,wanting to start new business or even exit the current status and move on to new.Most of the individuals don't take the next step even though they know their heart ,mind and soul is fully comfortable and in-sink with taking the next step but they force themselves due to self inflicted values and they curb this thought bud in the beginning itself and try to kill.They believe its curbed but in the reality its adds to internal stress bud as an alternate and when they try to hide it and it will grow like a balloon.At tough situations later its bursts and adds to bigger stress and they regret for the days,months,years they would have missed ,which they could have probably had if they have managed it wisely.What does it mean ? Does it mean I am asking one to violate self -inflicted socially defined values or good or bad ? I don't think so. But we can manage it wise by defining the limits of what is right to which extent we will believe its right and keep ourselves within limit.For example if we know boozing is not right as defined by our system we can define limits if we want to booze once in a week at home is my limit or whatever it is according to our hearts happiness.In that case we don't have the internal conflict of breaking the values.This can be applicable for any relationships,business etc.But the key is defining limits according to what our heart says today based on happiness and peace it gives. Don't define limits so that it curbs the today's peace or happiness and it will add to further stress.In this world lets not forget we are humans and the basic need for every human is happiness and peace according to what his/her heart says and it should not be fully defined by the above said self inflicted social pressures.I always suggest the " TRUE HAPPINESS & PEACE = Function of ("THE HEART'S DESIRE" DIVIDED BY "FEAR OF WORLD AROUND YOU "). Lets close our eyes think situation /activities which we do which adds to stress /emotional instability and now imagine the entire world /people or society is not there and ask will it add same stress and if your answer is I don't think so which means its the right thing and don't curb it ." MINUS THE WORLD AROUND YOU ,DON'T GIVE UP ON ANYTHING OUT OF THIS EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY ,WE ARE HUMANS,LIVE THE LIFE WHAT OUR HEART SAYS FOR THAT MOMENT,MANAGE SMARTLY BY SELF DEFINED LIMITS"

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Fast is No More Past-Anna Hazare fasts in Public :Thambi Tiru fasts in private

"Fast is No More Past " to revolutionise the nation.Everybody knows Anna Hazare and his valuble contributions to this society. He is not asking for piece of land or peace of his Mind.He is asking for few amendments in the Janlokpal bill which can save u and me tomorrow from the asura of corruption.Its almost a year since my fingers sketched something for a cause.I haven' t seen Anna but only heard. But i have seen this man Tirumalai an IIT MBA who threw away placements and carved his own blue ocean as his career.He still doesn't look for place to settle but work for settlement of issues in many rural areas.This man Tiru has been fasting for the past 3 days in his home and when asked he said " when a Man @ 80 s could do why not me".I know this guy as a friend who once told me not to wait for signal clearance in the traffic and drive away.Now he has been carved into a Local Ikon who always thinks about what best he can contribute to the society.I cannot follow his path though i still ponder on other modes of upliftment of the society.I salute you today and i wish that you also grow like another Anna Hazare so that the entire world Salutes you.

All the best.I Shall soon join you but in a different road.

Pls support Tirumalai through

Friday, June 4, 2010

As Days go,Incidents Adds to Experiences and I doubt the Presence of almighty

What is right and What is wrong?I have been so Genuine , hard working(For time being lets keep the funny word "Smart work" away from argument), I was the topper in the studies throughout,But i am the least recognised in all aspects including money.I think these phrases will strike you again and again when u drive or sleep if you are really true and commited to what you do in this world today.

Most of the time ,I feel gone are the days when honesty is rewarded and hard work is paid.Let me tell you just one example how stickimg to rules and regulations will put your life in risk.

Imagine you travel in your bike /car and you see a red signal in a traffic free zone and unmanned signal.You are expected to drive and not stop.If you stop you will be shouted or hit by someone who is travelling at 80km/hr behind you.

Today is the world you climb up while stealing the sweat of others and the polished name for this is termed as smart work.

There is taste in one penny earned by shedding one drop of sweat,But today I see people claiming that i did a very hard work by moving out to next building in afternnoon and say its too hot ,I cant bear.

To those i ask this question what will you name the effort of sales Executives roaming in sun for almost 100km/day in the city or the worker laying roads in the sun.

The answer from most of the people are "I have chosen a career in such a way i work inside office" and i dont even think of those.

Next comes the concept of experience.Experience today is knowing the illegalities in the system ,Loop holes and Crack the business or relation .

If everything is to happen as per standards what difference mathematically experience can give in certain jobs.

Then comes the funny word Management.When everyone sticks to commitment and do thier job why do u need people to manage people or drive people.

People Kill emotions,Trust,and climb up for prestige,Money,fame.

People talk about innovation.But no one appreciates that.They kill that in the budding stage.

Ordinary things are claimed extrordinary and extradordinary things are in dustbin.

Everyone knows most of the forecast is 50% hype and all come out with justifications how will u achieve and arguments how it cannot be achieved.

No realistic targets,No hard work to achieve that.In most of the work places the owner of the cafetaria is blessed with Business.

People talk , talk ,talk ,about the one for which they have already made decision or most likely on which cannot be changed .

But they have to talk for the sake of conducting Meetings.

I dont know where will life take me ...........

Most of the time i Feel

I am a fool unfit to be a part of this smart world nowdays.

I dont see parallelism with anyone in this world.

Life has always treated me very differently

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Dear God, A question to you! Can you amend the Law of Karma and Dharma?

This is one question which I cannot get an answer, from any of the books I have gone through. All books talk about Truth and Dharma and sometimes I wonder what is it all about. Is it merely a perception that one adopts based on situation or there any universal benchmark for these.

For a tiger that needs its prey killing and eating a deer is dharma. It can’t understand the pains that a deer would face while eating it. However it can’t starve without eating.

Then the question arises about the species. It’s an animal and not a human and so .Then for human which is considered to be the most blessed among the group is it dharma to eat even vegetables and fruits which are also considered to be living beings. Who knows the pain that a plant gets when you pluck a vegetable from it?

If we really follow ideal dharma then we can’t survive at all. We can’t even breathe because it kills many micro organisms in air.

May be that’s why one school of thought in spirituality says that birth is an outcome of sin and so you will be born again and again for the pains you have impacted on others till it gets balanced by your good deeds.

The biggest question is many people somehow feel and have this feeling that they were not so lucky in many aspects of life after tonnes of efforts (but still do their duty with dharma).

If they have to face for something that they have done in the past why should they face that when they are completely unaware of what they did?

They can’t justify to themself many things happening to them again and again.

Dear God, Can you amend this Law by adding one aspect “People will face problems of the same kind what they have done to others with full awareness and in the same life span, No Carry over Effect from past”

Sunday, July 27, 2008


Most of the time in life I repent for hours and hours even for single mistake I did. Yesterday it so happened that i was talking to someone dear to me and for no reason I started shouting at that individual. I have never behaved like this and I am in train moving towards Chennai. I am still pondering on it. It rarely happens in my life that I hurt someone. I was looking for reasons how I should avoid this nature. To avoid this I should fine exactly what’s the reason for this and analyse. Mind is like a vessel with limited capacity made of glass. It gets overloaded when more and more are packed into it and gets over heated when stress levels go up.

When stress levels peaks up the steel vessel has to be cooled down immediately or it looks for an outlet for cooling it. It’s where the problem starts and it’s in the same place the solution also lies.

When it gets overheated we have to go with the fact that it needs an outlet. So the solution can be obtained by mulling over these questions.

Can we stop overheating?

Can we minimise over heating?

Can we create an outlet for overheating?

In most of the cases we can’t stop over heating because it’s not in our hands we are the vessel is subjected to unavoidable exposure to heat. By work or by superiors. Let’s not ponder much on that factor and let’s go the next. Can it be minimised. If I have to answer this yes. The inspiration I got is what the title of this article. I will try to explain this with a story which I read recently.

A happy dog entered into bungalow which is completely made of glass and when it went inside it got reflected and it saw many other happy dogs of its own kind and it enjoyed it. After some time a mad dog with full temper entered the same place and it found so many dogs started fighting with them and start hitting the glasses and injured and died.

Most of the time people around us are reflection of our character. It can be even boss or subordinate in an organisation. When we try to change our exposure to outside the outside changes in tandem to our expectations.

This is what is stated in Robin Sharma’s “The saint, the surfer and the CEO” when he says “we only get what we give”. The highest version of this concept is the “influential leadership in organisational behaviour”. The more you show concern for people the more you get back. The more you care the universe the universe cares you.

The third way is can we find an outlet on our own. Most of the time when we are emotional the rational brain goes to rest. We can’t create an outlet by that time. So we should have an ready made outlet to cool can even be just moving out of the situation and calling someone who you love the most .again it creates a dependency. The outlet should be within and the outlet is first “Realise that you are not normal at that time. It can be by telling to yourself any gods name or “no no I won’t get angry ya.i am a human and not an animal. It’s a situation that is dominating you and you not the situation. Rather than finding fault with individuals try to deal with issues which make them behave like that.